AN INTERVIEW WITH ATLEE FEINGOLD AND DEE WISNE
By Debra Hopkins, BTCF President/Founder
Debra: How did you both come up with the concept of your short animated film, NORMAL?
Atlee: Dee came to me with the idea as an audio project in early 2020. She was toying with the idea of it being animated and knew she wanted it to be a short but wasn’t exactly sure of the structure. At first, she had titled it “Unhealthy,” but as we continued to talk about it the word NORMAL kept coming to my mind. Unfortunately, eating disorders and disordered eating are so normal and normalized in our society today that their practices are oftentimes revered and as “healthy.” So we decided on NORMAL. A title that seemed to accurately describe the prolific nature of these disorders and also begged the question such as… What is NORMAL? Why is our disordered relationship to our bodies, food and exercise such an overwhelming universal struggle? And when did this become so… Normal?
Dee: I came up with the idea of “Normal” through reflecting on my own suffering and the suffering of those around me. I remember feeling like there were some people in my life who couldn’t possibly understand the internal conversations and calculations that were going on inside my head, day in and day out. And I knew that I wasn’t alone; I was having vulnerable conversations with friends who also felt that their relationship with food and their body created an immense amount of psychological and emotional pain, not to mention took up an immense amount of time in the day. But most of us didn’t identify with anorexia or bulimia…we felt that what we were experiencing was womanhood, the price of being a commodity on the market. I was struck by how “normal” and ubiquitous it was to be constantly monitoring my food and body. This film was born out of a desire to shine a spotlight on this unhealthy norm that I felt I couldn’t escape, and which I believed some men in my life would never understand. (Now, our project has expanded to encompass all genders, but I first envisioned “Normal” as a woman’s story. Now I see it as a human story.)
Debra: What was the process of reaching out to so many folks to contribute their voice and individual story?
Atlee: We first started with friends and family members that we knew had a meaningful connection or experience with the subject matter. We then created a social media post calling on the greater community to share their stories with us. Surprisingly, a large number of people we had never met replied to us wanting to be a part of the project. We were very careful to make sure we got a variety of voices ranging in ages from 8 to 83, spanning generations, genders, and both racial and socioeconomic backgrounds. It was important to us that NORMAL be a project that accurately showcased the truth about eating disorders/ disordered eating and their presence in all types of communities, not just the straight, white, women between the ages of 13-30 that we so often see depicted in the media.
Dee: What Atlee said!
Debra: There is a strong dynamic between how people relate to their own bodies when it comes to relationships with food and how many of these toxic behaviors are normalized. Did some of the people who shared their story make peace with themselves during this journey with you both? If so, in what way?
Atlee: Yes, one participant comes to mind. Let’s call her… Beth. Beth had gone to I think about eight inpatient programs for anorexia, and with each program she said she got worse. It wasn’t until she decided to try and confront her disorder in the “real” world that she felt herself start to shift. Through speaking with me about where she had been and where she currently was I feel she was able to really reflect and marvel at her own strength and perseverance. Through her interview I think she began to see herself not just as someone who was currently in the throws of her own recovery journey, but also as someone who could be a resource to those going through similar struggles. She seemed to move into a place of acceptance and, dare I say, celebration, as she recalled her own bravery and tenacity. Recalling her own personal “heros” journey seemed to help move her into her next chapter of discovering who she was now, without the constant presence of her ED.
Dee: I had multiple conversations with women who did not see themselves as suffering, but as failing. I interviewed an acquaintance from my hometown who spoke of failing to “be good” around food, failing to “fit into old clothes,” and failing to exercise when she was sick. Over the course of our conversation, something seemed to shift in how she perceived herself. When I asked if she would like to be connected to any ED resources, she shared that she’d never considered her overeating and restricting patterns to be anything other than shameful. I believe her conversation with me opened a window into a new way of understanding her suffering. After a multiyear self-love journey, she reports being healthier physically and emotionally than ever!
Debra: BTCF uses all forms of art as healing tools to tap into the various places and spaces within oneself that are in need of realization, discovery, and healing. How do you both use your form(s) of art to find healing and resolve?
Atlee: I feel like all of the art I’ve ever created in one way or another came from a place of process and healing. For example, I got very depressed when I lived in LA, and nothing seemed to pull me out of it. I felt completely stuck both in my professional and personal life, and I knew something needed to change. So, I found myself turning back to one of my first loves, dance. To break myself from the chains of apathy a friend and I did a 30 Dances in 30 Days challenge, where we each choreographed, shot, edited and released a dance a day for 30 days. It was one of the most joyous and free-flowing times in my life, and completely brought me back to myself and pulled me out of my depression. This project is a perfect example of how turning to art and movement can oftentimes bring us back to our center and remind us of who we truly are and all of the beauty and brightness that surrounds us.
Dee: It’s cliché to say, but I find that art lends meaning to my life. When I am experiencing hard times or tough emotions, I think: “What great art I can make from this!”
Debra: The idea of your film is so that no one ever has to feel alone. This concept is cherished by BTCF as well. How powerful do you think it is to share personal story through art so that one may be prompted to feel less alone? Why?
Atlee: I think it’s paramount. Sharing the real and raw details of my personal struggles is an everyday motivation for me. I make a point to share and process the hardships I’ve gone through publicly in hopes that they help others feel less alone in theirs. Reading stories, watching art, listening to music or reading books that talk about similar challenges to what I’ve experienced helps me put my life and my pain into perspective. The public processing of others’ pain expressed through their unique lens, their unique strategies and coping mechanisms as well as the insights from their unique reflections help me to feel seen, less alone, and also inspire me to look at my pain or grief from a more unifying and connective place vs a place of isolation and paralysis.
Dee: Shame loves silence. In my experience, to see yourself reflected in a story or in art…it not only gives structure and words/images to your suffering, but it chases away shame.
Debra: Atlee, you have been in TV and Fim for over 15 years. What is your favorite part of your journey so far and why?
Atlee: Oh wow… what a great question. I guess I would have to say the people I’ve met along the way. You meet such interesting characters when working on pieces of art especially those in film and TV because it is such an intense and all consuming environment it attracts a very “eclectic” type of person. Whether it be those behind or in front of the camera everyone I’ve met has such a rich story and full lives. It seems the personality that is drawn to crafting cinematic narratives is one of a “jack-of-all-trades.” Everyone has a million different passions and, most of the time, they are quite good at all of them. Whether it’s the grip who also bakes award-winning cupcakes, or the makeup artists that compete in archery, or the actress that does trapeze… everyone is a Renaissance human. With each show, film or project you work on you form a little family. A family of misfits that all are hired to be equally as obsessed with a singular specific story or subject matter for a very focused and finite amount of time. This creates a very specific and accelerated form of intimacy and closeness that is unique to the arts and hard to find in most other working environments.
Debra: Dee, through your documentary work, which project was the most fulfilling and why?
Dee: I worked on a docu-series with NBC called “Survival Mode,” which explores the human impact of climate change-driven natural disasters via focusing on the survival stories of select families. For our episode on the devastating 2022 Eastern Kentucky floods, I spent two weeks embedded in Hazard, Kentucky, a former coal-mining town. Living and working in this often-overlooked region allowed me to experience Appalachian culture firsthand and gain a deeper understanding of a community that’s too often forgotten. Projects like this, which highlight underrepresented stories and amplify voices that challenge prevailing narratives, are what I’m most passionate about.
Debra: Atlee, what do you want people to take away from your short film, NORMAL? How can they get involved?
Atlee: I want those who watch NORMAL to get an intimate look into the everyday impact eating disorders and disordered eating have on those who experience them. I also want the viewer to get deeper insights into why people may turn to these disordered coping mechanisms and to understand that nine times out of time the impetus for these behaviors comes from deep traumas and not superficial goals. I also would also like those who have experience personally with the subject matter to see themselves in others’ stories and to deeply realize that they are not alone and that so many others struggle just like them. Over archingly, I want everyone who watches NORMAL to question why and how these disorders have become so “normal” in our society today and what that says about the overall health of our communities and our lives.
People can get involved by donating to our GO FUND ME. We already have a 10 minute cut as well as an incredible animator, Michael Pisano signed onto the project and currently we just need to reach our funding goals. We have raised almost $3,000 thus far and need just $12,000 more to reach our total goal. These funds will go directly towards the project’s animation, audio editing, production costs and short festival submissions. The simplest way to help us out is to donate through our GO FUND ME and share it with your community.
Debra: Dee, you are the founder of a worldwide campaign of a self-affirmation club called winkme.org. Can you share a little bit about your mission?
Dee: WinkMe was born in 2014 when I was just 17 years old! Similar to “Normal,” I wanted to create a shared space for women to change the culture around self-criticism and to support each other in pursuing self-love. I brought WinkMe to Barnard College in 2015, and they still meet today under student leadership. 🙂
Debra: There are so many voices and stories in NORMAL. The idea is to make it animated, and your concept art is quite interesting. Can you share with everyone what that looks like for you both, and why you chose this type of animation?
Atlee: Yes! We actually have a sneak peek into our animation style and hero character ideation which we would love to share with your audience! We wanted to go with something experimental and amorphous. Something that could shape shifts to represent all of us. We decided to go with animation over audio because we felt it was a creatively rich and sensorially engaging way to deliver the sometimes heavy and unapproachable truths about eating disorders/disordered eating.
Dee: What Atlee said!
Debra: Dee, favorite ride? A roller coaster or bicycle?
Dee: Bicycle baby. I like to be in control!!!! Lol.
Debra: Atlee, favorite film? Drama or comedy?
Atlee: Of all time, definitely Father of the Bride 1 & 2. I am a sucker for a good 90s movie. It is my all-time favorite genre. Another good one is 9 Months.
Debra: To be NORMAL, NORMALIZED, or what is NORMAL?
Atlee: I think I would choose – What is NORMAL?? Because there is no such thing in my opinion. Everyone and everything is uniquely itself… and to try to be anything else robs it of its magic.
Dee: I am not the best person to ask because, unfortunately, I am a lil freak.
Debra: Is there anything else either of you would like to share?
Atlee: I guess one last thing I would like to share is our desire to have the film be funded by the ED community itself. We decided to go with crowdfunding because we thought it would be even more powerful to have the film be funded by the community that knows its truths most intimately. Who better to endorse the project and bring it to the finish line than those who have lived it themselves.
Dee: We are raising money to pay our amazing animator. If anyone would like to make a contribution, we would SO appreciate it! You can find our fundraiser at www.gofundme.com/f/fund-normal .
Debra: Thank you both so much!
Click on Atlee and Dee’s links below:
