“Your now is not your forever.” From a book called Turtles

 All The Way Down

 

Interview by Debra Hopkins, BTCF President

Debra: What is your favorite piece that you have written in any publications? Please share about it.

Alicia: Probably the personal essay I wrote a while back called “OCD Isn’t an Aesthetic: How The Mental Illness Ruined my Childhood and Teen Life” on the Medium. It gave me the chance to really be thorough and describe how it affected a lot of my behavior as a kid and a teen. Like my social life being basically nonexistent in high school because of it, for example. Or when my mom or dad would have to wait outside of social events or very few hangouts I had because I was scared of being sick without them there. It gave me the chance to talk about the ugly parts of OCD, and the response I got was really good. The comments and DMs and people sharing their own stories and feeling comfortable enough to talk to me about their experiences too.

Debra: You are a strong advocate for OCD and have openly shared the struggles you have faced. What do you think is a major misconception about OCD, and why do you think this misconception exists?

Alica: OCD has been stereotyped a lot as being neat and tidy and organized, like everything is color coded and just so. But the reality is, OCD doesn’t ease stress. It causes it. The misconception comes because of one form of OCD (ordering and arranging/ symmetry OCD), only thinking about a behavior of one form without looking into why. If someone has a certain organization pattern with OCD, the reason could range from the “just right” feeling to “I have to do this, or my loved one will be hurt”. I think out of all mental illnesses, society looked at the behavior and misinterpreted it as aesthetically pleasing for the sufferer versus the reality being that the behavior is from distress and a need to prevent whatever. And society doesn’t necessarily like to break the image of things being aesthetically pleasing, so even today people with OCD still have to work hard to bring awareness and educate people.

Debra: What advice would you give to those who want to learn more about OCD?

Alicia: Social media has been such a blessing for awareness, and a lot of people on social media have become less afraid to talk about their struggles and experiences with OCD. Listen to influencers’ experiences with it. Listen to actors and creatives’ experiences with it. Amanda Seyfried, Jenna Ortega, Camila Cabello, and many others in the creative industries have come out talking about their struggles with the disorder in a real and raw way.

Debra: As a content creator, you have partnered with major film studios like Lionsgate, Netflix, and Sony Pictures.  What is your favorite part about these types of partnerships and why?

Alicia: I think it’s been hard to find a balance between bringing awareness to OCD and separating myself from OCD. It’s hard to disassociate your identity from something that’s taken up most of your life. I’m 23, and I’ve lived with it for over 16 years. Having only 7 years with normal thought patterns when your brain is still developing is nothing; I mean, that’s insane to think about. So when I get to wear nice and pretty dresses and get my hair and makeup done and go to these events celebrating art through stories on screen, not to sound corny but it’s when I feel like Alicia. And when at the same time with my OCD, even though I have found ways to cope, the background noise can be tiring and hard to turn off. But films and stories on screen shut my brain off and for once, I’m not in my own brain, but focused on the thoughts and minds of the characters on screens. So all of these opportunities give me the opportunity to separate myself and my mind from OCD and to just have fun while supporting creative work.

Debra: BTCF focuses on breaking the chains of mental health and body image struggles while providing artistic programming and services for those looking to “link” with others on their wellness journey.  What forms of art do you enjoy and how do they create positive connections for you both personally and professionally?

Alicia: I come from a family of artists, so I connect with art personally because I was taught early on the importance of art and art forms. Since my Dad is a graphic designer for TV, he got my sister and me into drawing and art appreciation at really young ages. My sister and I did a lot of art classes together. We actually have our artwork strewn about in the house; we have one of my dad’s paintings that he did from college at SVA (School of Visual Arts in NYC) hanging in the living room, and then we have my sister’s and my paintings in the living room and kitchen, so we have visual reminders of the importance of art. I think professionally it’s led me to learn a lot about behind-the-scenes work in the industry, which is really helpful with one of my niches for work, Marvel and DC. Especially when looking at the stages of these studios’ graphic design work. I’ll have my dad’s brain when thinking about Thanos from the first Avengers movie compared to Infinity War, there was a lot of art development. And it’s things like that that lead me to appreciate the art forms of TV and movies.

Debra: What are some of your favorite books, and where is your go-to place to read them?

Alicia: I haven’t been reading as much as I should, but my favorite will always be “The Outsiders”. It was a required reading in my school and I fell in love with it. I still go back to read it or other think pieces on it years later. I also love the “Little House on the Prairie” books. My parents named me after a character on the show, Alicia Edwards, and my mom introduced me to the series the day I was born (I’m not joking) and watched the show in her hospital room, and then book series when I was old enough to read them. I usually read them in my room.

Debra: Social media can be a challenging space to navigate for individuals of all ages, especially youth. What would you recommend to those who struggle with body image and find themselves defining their worth by what they see online?

Alicia: I’d say not just “don’t compare” because it’s easier said than done, but the honest truth. A lot of what you see from influencers or older girls on social media is manufactured. I think it’s so different nowadays because we’re in an age where you can buy your looks. Not just clothes or makeup but change the littlest things about your face or body. It’s just not realistic to compare yourself to girls who are paying thousands in treatments or weight loss products. And if you’re a teenager, your body is not going to stay the same as you grow and get older. Your body is changing and growing, and it will go through a lot of stages. It did for me because I myself had gut health issues that I didn’t get answers for and fixed until I was 19, so I was midsize to overweight for most of my teenage years. And being bigger in size versus smaller doesn’t mean a difference in beauty or worth.

Debra: What are your top three self-care activities, and why do you choose them?

Alicia: My number one is watching movies and TV, for the reasons I explained earlier. I’m excited for the last season of “Outer Banks” that I get to binge, and when it comes to movies, I have this habit of watching a designated actor’s filmography and repeating the cycle (I’m currently on Ben Affleck) My second is baking because I have a sweet tooth in general, even though it benefits the whole house. I’ve been baking for years, but whatever I bake is gone in the snap of a finger, especially my gluten-free banana bread or gluten-free pumpkin bread. My last one is spending time with my dogs. I got my rescue, Moose, a pug and chihuahua mix, as a reward for completing certain things in my OCD treatment. We’ve had him for over eight years now. And then there’s my other dog, Gracie, a dachshund and miniature pincher mix.

SPEED ROUND:

Rollercoaster or bicycle?

Alicia: Bicycle 

 

Long walks or a day at the beach?

Alicia: Day at the beach

 

Bagels or donuts?

Alica: Bagels, I’m loyal to New Jersey and New York

 

Debra: You are a talented content creator and positive influencer. What are three key considerations people should have when creating content for TikTok?

Alica: The first is don’t be afraid to be embarrassing. It’s the embarrassing stuff that can make you go viral. My first viral video was baking a cake with a Veggietales cake pan, and to this day I’m still one of the main CEOs of Veggietales niche. The second is a variety of content; it’ll take awhile to figure out what works for your algorithm. Lastly, just have fun with it! TikTok is a great platform to connect over so many passions, and I’ve made my closest friends from the app.

Debra: As a young girl, what were some of your biggest dreams, and which ones came true?

Alicia: I dreamed of being heard. With being dismissed by everyone around me for my OCD, both adults and people of my youth, I just wanted someone to listen and to help them understand or encourage them to be understanding with me and others whose brains function like mine. Which is why I’m so grateful to be part of BTCF, because it amplifies not only voices of me with OCD, but of mental health struggles some are anxious to talk about. This one is a little corny, but I dreamed of wearing evening dresses in any context. OCD took a lot from me, which included nights out and school dances, so I dreamed of getting to wear something that made me feel beautiful. I bought one recently that I’ve been obsessed with for so long, and even though the original is no longer made or listed anywhere, I was able to find a nearly identical piece that I’m excited to wear. I also dreamed of having close bonds and friendships with people since I didn’t have a lot of that in my childhood and teen years. It’s a small dream to others, but big to me, and I’m very happy it came true and value a lot of those bonds.

Debra: What is one thing that you are willing to share that not that many people know about you?  

Alicia: I have very niche visual interests that I also collect. Rocks and minerals, glass-blown art, and shells all fascinate me. My best friend made fun of me when I visited her in Florida (in good fun) because I wouldn’t stop running around collecting seashells on the beach that were nothing like the ones on the Jersey shores.

Debra: What advice would you give to young people pursuing a career in the entertainment industry like yours?

Alicia: I think what’s beautiful about this industry is a lot of us want to help each other out, and we’re all trying to go to the same destination of success. I’ve gotten good tips from people and been pointed in the right directions, and vice versa. So my advice is lean on each other in the industry.

Thank you, Alicia!

You can find more about Alicia on her social.

TikTok and Instagram @alicianotsograceful